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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Thoughts to ponder...

So how do you figure the average Airport Security person will respond to me bringing along a digital scale on the plane? You see, I need to weigh my clapotis once I get to the end of the increase section so that I can be sure that I will have enough yarn left for the decrease section. A perfectly good explanation, right? But considering the fact that Ron Reagan Airport has its own separate baggage handling conveyor belt, I have visions of having to explain this to some big guy wearning a polyester uniform and a permascowl. I'm guessing that not alot of Customs/Airport Security staff knit - although maybe they should; it might mellow them out a bit. Although, come to think of it, if a Customs Officer was a knitter, answering the question "What are you bringing back with you?" with "Oh, just some yarn" might not get you off lightly. Actually, come to think of it, I went to medical school with a girl who used to work as a Customs Officer; she once told us how during downtime between flights they would screen imported videotapes for "obscenity". She's a psychiatrist now - which kind of makes sense in a weird way.
And with our recent "Sorry, the plane was too heavy so we left your baggage in Las Vegas" experience, I am not crazy about putting any necessities (i.e. knitting stuff) in checked baggage.

Which reminds me - I don't think I ever shared the story of Crazy Lady on the Flight to LA. Background - I am 5 foot 11, The Gambler is 6 foot 4. So we ALWAYS try to get either exit row or bulkhead seats when we check in ahead of time. When we checked in online, we saw that in the DEF portion of the exit row, only seat F was taken. So we took D (The Gambler) and E (Me). As we walked down the aisle towards our seats, I saw that someone appeared to have an entire picnic lunch, and all of the worldly belongings strewn across the middle and aisle seat beside them. Wouldn't you know it, it was the exit row; those were our seats. I smiled at the woman sitting in the window seat and said "Hi. We are sitting there.". She glared at me and announced "This seat doesn't have 2 armrests, so I am going to have to use your armrest during the flight." Whatever. She managed to pack away the remainder of her 3 course meal and stow her 5 (I am not kidding - FIVE) carryon items under her seat and in the overhead compartment (which, of course, filled the entire overhead compartment, meaning that we had to put our stuff somewhere else). I sat down in my middle seat, buckled in, and pulled out my knitting. We listened to the spiel about opening the door in the event of an emergency landing, and got ready for takeoff. Crazy Woman was twisted around, looking behind her. I thought that maybe she was looking for another empty row so that she could move there once the plane took off. The flight attendants had just finished "securing the cabin", the engines started to warm up, and Crazy Woman decided that she needed to get up. OK, I thought - maybe she wants to move to the other seat right away. The Gambler and I undid our seatbelts, got out of her way, and she walked towards the back. A minute later, the pilot announces overhead "Could the person who is in the lavatory please return to their seat? We cannot take off until all passengers are in their seats. Please do not leave your seat until the seatbelt sign is extinguished". Minutes pass...people are starting to wonder if perhaps this person has collapsed in the lavatory...finally, Crazy Woman emerges, saunters up the aisle, stops to retrieve something from her overhead bin stash, and waits for The Gambler and I to let her pass by. But that wasn't the worst of it - the worst part (other than her repeating the bathroom trip during an episode of turbulence) was the fact that she felt it necessary to not only lean her whole arm on the armrest (to the point where I was routinely jabbed by her elbow), but that she managed to do it while somehow sitting diagonally, so that her feet were sticking in front of me so far that she could almost rest them on my purse (which was under the seat in front of me). So I ended up hunched up against The Gambler. But we did get a bit of revenge when the plane landed. As we were standing up waiting for people further ahead to deplane so that we could get into the isle, Crazy Woman announced to us "I want to get out now". She was quite short, and easily able to stand up straight without going into the aisle (not the case for The Gambler and myself), and The Gambler said "Madam, I'm pretty sure that nothing would make my wife happier than for you to leave immediately, but you're just going to have to wait."

On a totally unrelated note, My Super Awesome SP 11 Secret Pal sent me some yummy drink mixes and 2 skeins of Noro Silk Mountain today! (Photos later). It's a boucle-y type yarn in red with gray and black bits, and is just begging to be the cuffs and collar of a nice sleek black sweater. Or the contrast on a pair of gloves and matching hat. Many Thanks!!!

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Comments on "Thoughts to ponder..."

 

Blogger Laritza said ... (Fri Sep 21, 12:15:00 AM EDT) : 

That is too funny of a story! Oh Oh I am flying out tomorrow I hope I don't run into Crazy Woman version 2!

 

Blogger BeadKnitter said ... (Fri Sep 21, 01:33:00 AM EDT) : 

Ya gotta wonder what has happened to this gal to make her like that. Good revenge though.

 

Blogger Bezzie said ... (Fri Sep 21, 07:27:00 AM EDT) : 

Wuhahhaaha! Kudos to The Gambler for that remark!!

 

Blogger LilKnitter said ... (Fri Sep 21, 08:31:00 AM EDT) : 

I love the polite uber-smackdown; brilliant! What bizarre flight behaviour on her part. Some people, huh?

 

Blogger Bridget said ... (Fri Sep 21, 09:22:00 AM EDT) : 

The Gambler rocks!

And if you are like me, it will *never* be Ronald Reagan National Airport. It worked just fine being called National Airport for years, it doesn't need his name on it. But that's another topic altogether ... ;-)

If you have some free time, go to teh Freer Gallery while you are in DC. It's one of the Smithsonian Museums, but it's never crowded, and just walking through it puts you in a good mood!

 

Blogger Jo said ... (Fri Sep 21, 09:46:00 AM EDT) : 

This is one of the reasons I wish I had super powers to zing people who are idiots. I wish they (airlines) would crack down on the carry on rules - and if you bring your whole frickin' suitcase on as a carry-on (the big ones - not the ones intended to be carry-ons), you should have your luggage confiscated and be told, "Maybe you will get this back at the other end. You really should have thought to check this at the counter...'

 

Blogger Carol said ... (Sat Sep 22, 11:29:00 AM EDT) : 

Crazy woman is funny now, but I bet you were seething during the episode. I know I would be! I hate it when people are inconsiderate like that. When you are all crowded into a tin can, TRY to be polite. 'cause there's no escaping them....

 

Blogger Queen of the froggers said ... (Sun Sep 23, 03:56:00 AM EDT) : 

Love that story! Like your writing on your blog too!

 

Blogger Lorette said ... (Sun Sep 23, 10:41:00 PM EDT) : 

Sheesh. I think there's a "crazy woman" on every flight. I would have had a bit of trouble being as polite as your guy was.

 

Anonymous Kelly said ... (Mon Sep 24, 06:10:00 PM EDT) : 

HAH! What a perfect response! I have to tell you, I would not have been as quiet as you during the ride with her obviously being a cow. What an idiot! I just can't imagine how some people turn out like that. Egocentrism I guess.

 

Blogger Macoco said ... (Tue Sep 25, 10:48:00 AM EDT) : 

Oh I love the Gambler for saying that!! Way to go!

 

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