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Monday, August 20, 2007

Is this all that there is?


I think I have driven by one too many Alpha Course bus shelter advertisements.

Or maybe it's the babies that various friends and family are cranking out.

Work, knit, blog, shop, travel ( not necessarily in that order) - keeps me occupied, but leaves me with little to contribute when sitting at a table full of mothers and grandmothers.

We don't want to have kids, and I have never had any sort of urge to do so. To be honest, we don't really like kids. I don't know the exact birthdates of my nieces and nephew.

Time keeps whizzing by at an ever accelerating rate; it would be nice to know what we are journeying for.

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Comments on "Is this all that there is?"

 

Blogger Glenna C said ... (Mon Aug 20, 07:09:00 AM EDT) : 

Aw. In my volunteer years surrounded by women, I often felt out of place, too - I have the double-whammy of not only having no children but having no spouse, either! Every so often I break down the things I like to talk about in company and realize it's a pretty short list. Knitting has colonized all my other hobbies. Hmmm. I don't mind that so much, but sometimes i do wish I had more to talk about ;)

 

Blogger Bezzie said ... (Mon Aug 20, 07:31:00 AM EDT) : 

Grass is always greener on the other side isn't just a clever overused cliche.

I may have bred, but that doesn't mean I enjoy or even engage speaking with other mothers. I hate that just because I've got a kid ta-da, that gives us something to talk about. Yawn. I love my kid, but there IS more to life!

 

Blogger jacquieblackman said ... (Mon Aug 20, 07:39:00 AM EDT) : 

There are definitely more women out there with your frame of mind (me included). Sounds like a non-mommy group is in order?

 

Blogger Vaedri said ... (Mon Aug 20, 08:38:00 AM EDT) : 

I've been in that kind of minor funk lately, too. Maybe it's the time of year - this is the time everyone's gearing up for the next step - back to school, or getting their kids back to school, and I'm just tooling along as usual. It's hard sometimes when it kind of feels like everyone's moved on to something different. Even if I don't want to go down the same path.

 

Blogger Ev said ... (Mon Aug 20, 09:45:00 AM EDT) : 

"Work, knit, blog, shop, travel ( not necessarily in that order) - keeps me occupied"

It all definitely keeps you occupied AND gives you plenty of interesting stuff to talk about IF everyone else weren't so wrapped up in their own lives.

You have to define for yourself just what it is you want out of this life and then, cold as it sounds, ignore the other blather. Unless you're interested in hearing it.

In all honesty, that's one of the reasons I find men so much more interesting to engage in conversation than most (most) women.

 

Blogger Bridget said ... (Mon Aug 20, 10:30:00 AM EDT) : 

I'm with you! I love my nieces and nephews, and I'm sure part of the reason is that they live in other states, so I rarely see them. They are great kids, I'm just not much more interested in them than they are in me ...

It does leave you feeling "out of it" a lot of the time. But most of the time, I don't care. When I do decide I care, I try to interact the best way I can. Which often leads me back to not caring ... hm.

 

Blogger Martina said ... (Mon Aug 20, 02:14:00 PM EDT) : 

I think that parents talk about their children so much because they have nothing else to talk about. I have been guilty of just that on occasion. Secretly I think most parents (though they could not and would not give up their kids) wish for the life that you can have. I commend you for not bowing to social pressure and having children just to "fit in".

 

Blogger Lorena said ... (Mon Aug 20, 06:54:00 PM EDT) : 

May I be a long-distance member of the non-mommy group...? I may knit a lot for my friend's kids... but screwed if I can remember when the kids are due. I hope they still fit in my knits by the time I'm done.

 

Blogger Lynn said ... (Mon Aug 20, 08:55:00 PM EDT) : 

I remember when I was about to graduate from the interpreting program, and somebody asked if I were planning to interpret in the schools. I looked at them with horror and said, "The only kids that I want to spend time with, are my own." And once when a bishop called me to serve as the nursery leader at church, I told him that just because one *has* kids, it doesn't follow that one *likes* kids. [Especially the way a couple of mine were behaving at that time.]

Kudos to you for knowing what you want. I respect that.

I might know all the verses to "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round", but you have the talent and skills and inclination and *freedom* to save lives on a daily basis.

That's not a small thing.

Thanks for giving me the germ for some musings of my own.

 

Blogger Merry Karma said ... (Tue Aug 21, 10:12:00 AM EDT) : 

I would love to be a part of the Knitting Physicians webring, but I don't know if I would be allowed. I am a physician assistant.

 

Blogger Carol said ... (Wed Aug 22, 08:45:00 PM EDT) : 

I too am on the "I don't want to have kids" bandwagon. And othe rpeople are horrified by it. I actually had one person say "but your maternal instincts will flower" after the usual,"how many kids do you have" etc repartee. I n early tossed my cookies at him. (literally, I was holding cookies) It's a choice. Just like everything else in life. I applaud you.

 

Blogger Lorette said ... (Thu Aug 23, 07:40:00 PM EDT) : 

Well, I commented on this but I think it was eaten by the blog monster. I am also of the child-free by choice variety. It amazes me how many other people don't really respect that choice. I get a lot of "but you'd make a good mother" and "it's selfish to not have kids". My spouse has grandkids from a previous marriage, and we love them dearly, in small doses.

 

Blogger LilKnitter said ... (Fri Aug 24, 02:37:00 PM EDT) : 

A middle-aged (that is, not old at all!) church-lady approached my SIL when she was pg to give her some back-handed congratulations on the impending baby and commented "I'm so relieved; I thought you were going to be one of those couples who don't have kids" as if that's the most horrendous idea ever.

I think if your work saves lives and is fulfilling and, in addition, you have hobbies and travel and people to love, you've got a lot going for you. Not to say there isn't necessarily more to be had, but just that what you do have is worth having.

 

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