Spring skiing, and more parental agony

This was what it was like on the ski hill today. This was what greeted us when we got home. I am sure he can't understand why we don't leave the comfy bed out for him on laundry days. I bet the best part was when it was all nice and warm from having just come out of the dryer... It is official - my parents are driving me INSANE. Mostly my Mom - my Dad isn't quite so bad - the worst part is that his hearing isn't the greatest, and he himself is a bit difficult to understand because he kind of mumbles. Right now every hair on my body is standing straight up because my mother is SMACKING HER LIPS AS SHE EATS A PIECE OF PASTRY!!! The worst part, is that she has been doing this for at least 15 minutes, because she is the slowest eater in the history of mankind. I swear to god - it is not a large piece of pastry, in fact, she cut the damned thing in half, and we shared it - I broke off bits of my piece to eat with my tea, and I couldn't make more than 6 pieces without using a sharp knife. I won't even bother outlining the myriad of things that she does that get on my nerves, except to say that she is the worst poker player EVER - who places a bet when all the cards are on the table and you KNOW that you haven't made any kind of a hand?? And I don't even care about poker!!! Must go to a happy place...